Comedians = Essayists??

Back in school, teachers make kids write hundreds of essays every year and the smarter kids say, "It’s not that we don't want to write an essay, but that we're trying to save the Rain Forests and writing essays wastes too much paper." It's the common response of a teenager, the excuse. Most kids and adults for that matter would rather be out destroying their brain in some fashion then using it to write some vapid essay.

When we observe life, however, no matter how much you hate the organization and form of the common essay, it is just as omnipresent as god. When you're in a business, you use it to write reports; when you're the entrepreneur; you use it to write business plans; when you are the scientist, reports; the janitor, perhaps a resume. The point is: we all use the essay, no matter who we are. The specific example of this article is one that no one expects to see a good essayist partake in: comedy.

Any good comedian boasts their laziness and after watching Comedy Central stand up for the entirety of a day, you will not find any comedian who says, "I wake up every day and say, gee golly what an organized person I am!" It doesn't happen because that's not funny. In most cases that's probably the thing people are trying to escape from by watching Comedy Central but comedians do use the essay form and to be a great comedian one must see that there is structure and form to making people laugh.

Out of the 600 channels you get at home, you can watch their style and it is very obvious with some, such as new comers on "Comedy Central Presents..." and incredibly hidden with others, such as the talented veteran, Robyn Williams. Even satellite radio has realized the need for comedy in this country and put them in their arsenal as well.

The point of mentioning all these different places is that they all tend to vary in their comedic style but they all have one commonality amongst them: they all run their act in an essay form.

The essay of the comedian revolves around the punch line and that punch line becomes our thesis. Before the punch line however, you must have an introduction so a introduction with a punch line thesis might look like this:

(A very tired looking man walks out on stage and sits down in a chair)
Comedian:
You ever been to your grandparents house (pauses, looks down and holds fist in front of his mouth as he coughs out) After they've gotten really old? Well I live in a very Italian family so I got an angry granny who doesn't know my name and when my cat died, I told her first and she says, "fugghet about it."

This is the introduction and punch line but to make it an "act" we have to use that punch line again, so you have a second bit that goes on for a while about something completely different and then ends with a joke about "fugghet about it." If it went on a tangent about sports, it could end with this line:

So, you seen the Mets’ pitching this year? (Pauses and smiles at the audience with pride) it's awful! What are you clapping about? You think they'll make it to the Pennant? Maybe? Huh, huh, huh? If only the Mets could win the Pennant, I could get my daddy back! And there'll be Angels in the outfield and we can all have Danny Glover be our best friend! (Quick pause for laughter then with vicious sarcasm through a smile: "Fugghet about it."

They can have as many topics as they want mixed in there, some with, and some without the punch line incorporated but most of the time, a comedian will leave with his punch line, taking his audience for one final ride. There's never any explanation afterwards, just a sharp ending that keeps them in shock, a little like this:

So the other day I go walking down the streets of New York and I see this big burly guy walking toward me looking like Tony Soprano; he's probably got a gun somewhere in his pants because I know my kind and that guy may be lucky but he's no Peter North. He comes up to me and I say, "Are you selling flowers sir?" (Leans into the mic and cups it and says in a deep, mafia voice) "Fugghet about it."