Tuesday, January 25, 2011

Internet Porn and Girlfriends


So I happened to be doing what every man does on a daily basis (looking at porn) and I noticed that in the corner of the screen, there was a tab that said, "Is this your girlfriend? Let us know."

Well, of course, this got me excited and laughing because what do they do if it is your girlfriend? First off, my mind ran with ideas. There was one of two options: either they publicize this fact and go haha, look at the dumb ass getting cheated on, or they remove the post.

So, I found a good video and decided to try clicking the button. When clicking on the button, it put up the URL, asked for an explanation and asked for my e-mail. So I filled in every field except the e-mail and submitted the post. The video was not taken down immediately and I got to enjoy watching it again and again.

So, I suppose the moral is, if your girl cheats on you and you catch her online, people are still going to watch her video.

Over and over again... Sucks to be you.

Sunday, January 9, 2011

A Web-Based Solution to Getting Your Gifts.














In a capitalistic economy, trade is constant. People search for the best deal, the quickest way to get something or the least hassle. We hurry to the store on Black Friday because we think that all the deals happen on that day, at that store and you can’t find deals anywhere else but we would be wrong.

We need not leave the comfort of our homes and get lost in the crowds, only to end up with half of what we want and more than we bargained for; unless our goal is to improve store commerce and increase fat cat cash flow. We have the power to rise above that with our computers.

Online shopping began in 1979 and was invented by a man named Michael Aldrich who lived in the United Kingdom. His system was a B2B (Business To Business) system that connected a modified 26” color television screen to a “real-time transaction processing computer via a domestic telephone line.” The internet would not be invented until the 1980’s but after Thomson Holidays’ online shopping system of 1981 and Gateshead’s SIS/Tesco in 1984, the first online shopper was ready to make a purchase. In May of 1984, Mrs. Jane Snowball of Gateshead, England became the first person in history to do just that.

In 2006, E-commerce product sales totaled $146.4 billion in the United States alone, accounting for 6% of the retail products sold in the country. Consumers also purchased $18.3 billion in clothes, accounting for 10% of the domestic market.

These facts give the history but the real reason for buying online lies in the user. Online products give bargaining power to the consumer because they enjoy a wider choice than they do at any store; they give the supplier power because the supplier doesn’t have the overhead cost of running a store, meaning lowered prices and higher customer volume is a norm.

Online shopping also increases commoditization, which means that when we have access to the lowest price around, the products become cheaper because unless the services are better, we can look for the lowest cost and get the same product for less.

The online experience means getting what you want faster, cheaper, and with businesses competing for consumers and not the other way around.

We already use these services for many other things without realizing it. Google gets paid every time we click on a website and we get the information we need as well. As a student, I know all of us have used Wikipedia.org for projects and other information; in fact, I used Wikipedia and several other sites just to write this paper.

So if we are using online services for most things already, when it comes to doing shopping, why don’t we use them as well? The dissensions to online shopping seem almost idiotic but I prefer to think of them as naïve.

Many say that if we started shopping online, we would never leave the house but that’s not true. If we shopped online at times like Christmas, we’d simply emancipate ourselves to ski, hike, visit with family members, build fires, toast marshmallows and whatever else we enjoy doing around the holidays. Without the hassle of the traffic, if we decided to go to the mall, we could enjoy shopping at leisure instead of the frantic shopping that we suffer today.

Some might say that if people began shopping online, local businesses would see a decline in profits resulting in many of them going out of business but many local businesses already sell online. Barnes and Noble has an online site to buy books, as does Borders Books. Best Buy has an online site as well as CompUSA and Circuit City. If you prefer Radio Shack, they’re online too. Car Dealerships have been online since the days of Thomson Holiday and Enterprise Rent-A-Car will deliver a car, you rented online, to your house.

With all these stores to choose from, going from one to another becomes as short as, “click.” Gas prices are through the roof and walking around all day just to lose your money to a marked up copy of Dickens wastes your time unnecessarily. The online community grows every day and why shouldn’t it when you don’t need to move to visit a mall bigger than the Mall of America?

So as we can see, most businesses are online. Our trips to the store are not necessary unless we need groceries or perishables; so, this season, save some cash, improve your selection, give your car and feet the day off, spend that extra time, that you haven’t had, with your loved ones and order your gifts online.

HBO Pitch: Confessions Of an Economic Hitman


“We were standing at the window in the office we shared, looking out at the stagnant canal that would pass the PLN building. A young woman was bathing in its foul waters, attempting to retain some semblance of modesty by loosely draping a sarong around her otherwise naked body. “They’ll try to convince you that this economy is going to skyrocket,” he said…A movement up the canal caught my attention. An elderly man had descended the bank, dropped his pants, and squatted at the edge of the water to answer nature’s call. The young woman saw him but was undeterred; she continued bathing.”
This is the world that John Perkins saw in his book published in 2003. He justified it, he denied it, he even went as far as to write a book titled “The World as you Dream it” but as Perkins recalls while he drove down a dirt road in Ecuador with the Shuar tribe what they said, “ ‘The world as you dream it [?]’ … ‘Change that dream.’”
“This story MUST be told. We live in a time of terrible crisis and tremendous opportunity. The story of this particular economic hit man is the story of how we got to where we are and why we currently face crises that seem insurmountable. This story must be told because only by understanding our past mistakes will we be able to take advantage of our future opportunities… Most importantly, this story must be told because today, for the first time in history, one nation has the ability, the money, and the power to change all this. It is the nation where I was born and the one I served as an EHM: the United States of America.”
You gentlemen and ladies here at HBO must consider making this book into a TV movie that millions will watch just so that this story can be told.

With the help of an all-star cast such as politically inclined actor, George Clooney as John Perkins and Jennifer Connolly as Claudine, We plan to take the silver screen by storm. In our movie, Enrique Ingelicas explains to Perkins about the alternatives to war and silent imperialism as Omar Torrijos. Oded Fehr plays Farhad, teaching Perkins about the Middle East and even saving him from certain Annihilation as Iran falls. Rip Torn plays Howard Parker who proves to be Perkins wisest teacher showing him that capitalism may make things cozy in America but the world outside of our own back yards is one we may never want to see.

Real clips of the invasion of Panama and our presidents Jimmy Carter and George H. W. Bush are shown through out the film. The signing of the treaty of the canal can only be broken down by the real pictures of carnage in Panama after the American invasion for that same treaty to be destroyed. The hostage situation in Iran with Black Hawk down can be shown to show the people what Hollywood has already shown them in the recent movie Black Hawk Down.

Perkins in this film adapted from the book, Confessions of an Economic Hit Man goes from Ecuador to Indonesia, to Panama, Saudi Arabia, Iran, and back to Ecuador to drive the final nail into his proverbial coffin of guilt into doing the right thing.

His point at the end of the book is that many people will go through the same thing he does but because of the wall of lies and deception into doing “the right thing” they won’t know the truth from the lies.

At the end of the book he has a daughter with his new wife, years after he divorces his first wife Ann for mutual differences of opinion, named Paula. He tells us that he believes it is his duty to build a world for her, or at least help shape one where she doesn’t have to live with the mistakes and purposeful problems set in motion by those who came before her.

He says at the end of the book, “The EHMs had failed. The jackals had failed. So young men and women were sent to kill and die among the desert sands.” The paragraph goes on to explain what this would mean for the royal house of Saud but I think we all know this means much more to the American people and to see how all this came about is one of the things that Americans are now eating up as they come to grips with the fact that their government may not have their best interests in mind. We get distracted with all the things on TV and with what the media giants like CNN put on the air to tell us that it’s all ok and we’re beating back the oppressors but really all they’re doing is putting on another type of football game for us to say, “touch down in Iraq!” Perkins writes, “We who live in the most powerful nation history has ever known must stop worrying so much about the outcome of soap operas, football games, quarterly balance sheets, and the daily Dow Jones averages and must instead reevaluate who we are and where we want our children to end up. The alternative to stopping to ask ourselves the important questions is simply too dangerous.”

So ask yourselves these questions you patrons of justice. Will you let the truth go untold and let your children and their children remain unaware of those atrocities committed in the name of freedom, in the name of their country, the greatest and most powerful country on the earth, to fill the pockets of the corporotocracy or will you lend the only help you can in the fight for liberty and democracy around the world by letting the truth be known and telling this story of one man’s faults and eventual confessions to these deeds? Will you like Perkins, struggle with the truth or be as Paul Revere and ride bravely into that night to alert the people that their oppressors have arrived? You alone hold the key to making this movie but the truth is already out there in a book; the confessions of the Economic Hit Man have been leaked and no press in the world can stop the truth short of simply calling Perkins a fanatic. Words are the most powerful thing to deter future injustices and Perkins has shown us that with his novel. He has told us the story of his life that he lived and we cannot deny him the fact that he was there when these things happened. The fire is burning brightly for the masses and like the light of heaven; it is our destiny now to be drawn towards that light and right those wrongs. Either way, the truth is coming out and we all are busy telling it so join us and together we may find a light, a way, and a path towards what is right and what is just. Until then, I await the decision of a few good men willing to tell the tale.

Thursday, January 6, 2011

Marijuana (Cannabis):




















“Marijuana, while chemically distinct from the foregoing, is also considered as a hallucinogen.” Although any man who tells you that he’s seeing shit on the weed he’s got, you should ask him where he got it from. That shit may not be weed.

“Pharmacologically, it is not a narcotic although its control under the Marijuana Tax Act of 1937- and later laws- is somewhat similar to the control imposed on narcotics.” It’s also bullshit. Now you got to have a stamp that the government never made to get your weed? I’ll tell you why they never made any stamps, they were all too god damn baked. “Also, like narcotic law enforcement, marijuana law enforcement is handled by the Bureau of Narcotics and Dangerous Drugs as well as certain state and local law enforcement agencies.” Let’s be honest, if republicans really believed in a free market economy, they’d see that this drug, although intoxicating and stupefying, is not dangerous. In addition to that, it’s one of the biggest cash crops on the entire planet that actually is safe enough to be a healthy alternative to alcohol, tobacco, and certain seriously dangerous pharmacological remedies that are not yet properly proven to guarantee results. The Bureau of Narcotics and Dangerous Drugs in addition to local law enforcement? Seems like a lot to take down some pot-heads. The most dangerous thing about the drug is the people selling it. Why not eliminate them and take over the game? Democrats are about freedom and social programming and republicans are about free market, together, they have the capacity to regulate marijuana while letting the people of America make millions off a non-lethal drug.

“According to the Commission on Narcotic Drugs of the Economic and Social Council of the United Nations, Marijuana abuse is more geographically widespread than abuse of any other dangerous drug.” First off, to die from Marijuana, you have to smoke at least 3 times your body weight in weed. My lungs would quit and I’d fall asleep at about a pound of it. So, marijuana is not a dangerous drug. The fact that it’s the most widely used drug means people are probably not dying from it and the benefits outweigh the consequences. It also proves that governments around the planet can not stop people from using it, they can only nip at their feet by cutting off their sources every once and a while and ruining a good time. Like the guy at the bar who has to tell the story of how his sister died from a drunk driver when everybody’s at the bar drinking. Government opinion and regulation of this plant make about as much difference as their opinion and regulation of prescription medication or alcohol; two much more dangerous drugs that people abuse and actually die from left and right. In addition to that, what’s considered abuse? I consider abuse when a person is paralyzed by their addiction. Marijuana addicts, and I do know a few, tend to bounce right out of it when they can’t afford it. It’s a psychological addiction but not one that warrants cause for concern. If it was really abused by that many people, we’d have a much higher population worldwide, getting nothing done and this is not that time in our history. “Widely encountered in the Americas, Africa, Southeast Asia and the Middle East, It is known as bhang or ganja in India, Hashish in the Middle East, dagga in South Africa and maconha or djamba in South America.” First of all, I don’t know or care about all the names weed goes by but I do know that Hashish is not straight weed. It is a chemical concentration of THC through a process of breaking down the oils from the plant and adding those pure THC oils to already potent weed. Get your facts straight.

“The intoxicating substance which gives marijuana its activity, generally considered to be a tetrahydrocannabinol (THC) derivative, is found primarily in a resin from the flowering tops and leaves of the female plant. The potency of marijuana varies with the geographical location in which the plant grows, time of harvest, and the plant parts used.” This makes no sense because the potency of marijuana is determined by how it’s grown and taken care of, not the time of harvest or the geographical location. Any shlub with money now a day can buy a –ponics system and grow highly potent buds wherever they choose. They have to be careful of course because the police can bust in on them at any time but it is fact that if they preen their plant, take care that it doesn’t have contact with the outside, and/or can take care of that plant to make sure its growing process is undisturbed, the buds will get more and more potent as the plant tries to get fertilized. Fluke things can happen as well; the wrong temperature, not enough light, not enough nutrition, not enough water, etc. and any of these can result in plant death or the sex of the plant to change, creating less potent buds. The female plant is not the only version of marijuana that carries THC. The male plant can carry it as well. Perhaps not in large enough doses to get you to the high that you achieve from a female but THC is part of the marijuana plant in general. “For example, hashish is stronger than American marijuana because the former contains more resin.” Hashish contains more resin because it’s not marijuana and it can be manufactured in the US or in other countries. The fact that it has more resin is due to the fact that it’s not just the plant matter its self but plant matter added to more THC to produce a product that doesn’t even look like a bud, most of the time, presenting its self in dark brown brick form. It’s like if you were to take a plant and cover it in that THC resin that is extracted from the plant and then combined back into it to make a more potent substance that is not marijuana but simply “hash.” Hashish is manufactured in the United States as well. Some manufacturers even use driers from a washer/drier combo combine with special bags to create a substance called “bubble hash,” most commonly found in the United States in Hawaii. European companies dealing in marijuana, have for a while, sold seeds and other paraphernalia via magazines and the Internet but the most common place for Americans to get their pot accessories, when they live in a state that still enforces the illegality of pot, is Canada. With the emersion of pot dispensaries in California, the government is taking its first step against independent growers but the void is filled by many legal growers and pot enthusiasts creating a range of products that can be smoked, eaten, inhaled, drank or swallowed. While some say this increases the abuse of marijuana, the facts show that this is most likely the best way to keep tabs on marijuana users and how much they use because sales can be tracked and regulated.

“Medical Use. Marijuana once had a minor place in medical practice. But because the safety and effectiveness of newer drugs so outweigh the limited utility of marijuana, it is no longer considered medically respectable in the United States.” This obviously proves the out datedness of this book. Marijuana today, is safer than it’s ever been. With the derivative, THC, being made into new forms, I.e. swallowing the pot in cookies and cakes and various other foods, inhaling the pot with a vaporizer, taking a THC pill or drinking it in a drink, the dangerous and corrosive aspects of the smoke of marijuana are almost nullified. Marijuana has been proven to treat illnesses such as glaucoma, the sickness associated with Chemo-therapy, and a dozen other mental health conditions, actually made worse by a dependency on the pharmaceutical companies’ legal, but very dangerous drugs. Many of the legal drugs that are prescribed in the United States today are sold in a sort of black market trade between friends and family. These dangerous drugs are also proven to be more of a gateway to other drugs than THC could ever hope to succeed in becoming. Marijuana has been proven to not be physically addicting and although the mental addictions, because people like the high, are present, they still affect a smaller proportion of the world than the over one thousand dangerous and yet readily available to anyone with cash, drugs in the US today. There are many illnesses out there that use marijuana as a front but for the ones that really matter (Glaucoma and the stomach pains associated with Chemo-therapy) marijuana has proven its self more effective than the drugs they used to use which had little or no effect. “In a few countries of the world (Such as India and Pakistan) it is still a local remedy.” I don’t know the countries using marijuana as a remedy still but I do know that in many countries, including the US, Marijuana is a religious sacrament, a medicinal remedy, and a cash crop producing billions of dollars in California alone.

“Abuse: Marijuana may be smoked, sniffed or ingested, but effects are experienced most quickly with smoking.” Who the hell has ever heard of sniffing weed? Like seriously are you sure we’re talking about weed and not coke? I’d imagine you could get really, really high if you made a powder out of buds like hydroponic snuff but why would you? If it could be distilled down to the level of pure THC powder, you could get really really high, but in this case, it would probably turn out white not green and it would cease to be an all natural drug. In fact, we should let the pharmaceutical companies know about it. I hear they enjoy the adulteration of natural plant-like remedies.

In any case, I'm just one voice reading a book and making fun of it. I really don't care what your opinion is, however, I hope you've gotten a few facts, a few ideas, and a few laughs. Thanks for reading.

Tuesday, January 4, 2011

How to build a makeshift punching bag.

1. In many houses, people keep sleeping bags and pillows and blankets because let's face it, if you can't be cozy ever, you're probably in Al Qaeda and don't know it. However, not everybody has a pull up bar...


Step 1: take sleeping bag and fill with as many pillows and blankets as you can find and fit in half way.


2. Which leads me to...


Step 2: throw the back part of sleeping bag over the top of the pull up bar.


3. The last part can be done with many things like rope, twine, ace bandages (what I had on hand), and rubber bands (provided the rubber band is big enough to get it tied tight.)


Step 3: tie the part of the sleeping bag above the pillows and blankets off.


4. This has been very informative children. It's important to know because if you want to be a good person, sometimes you're going to have stress that we can take care of positively. This is coincidental because it leads me to...


Step 4: Beat the hell out of it like it owes you money.


5: A good work out is a blast but the cool down has to be proper. You have to relax, close off your mind, do something to distract you from the world and what you just beat senselessly into an inanimate object and...


Step 5:


In my opinion, relax and put on either Haiyao Miyazaki, Army of Darkness, or Harold and Kumar Escape from Guantanamo Bay.

Thank you for reading my tutorial on the makeshift punching bag. Now go out and relieve your stresses and enjoy the wonderful things in your life.

How to achieve ones appetite for zest

You will need:

Two pieces of white bread,

One bottle of barbecue sauce,

One Morning Star Farms chick patty,

Paprika,

Red pepper,

and Chili powder.



Step 1:



Upon users preference, either toast the bread or continue to step 2.



Step 2:



Apply a dollop of barbecue sauce to the corners of each piece of bread.



Step 3:



Put Morning Star Farms Chick patty in the microwave oven.



Step 4:



Heat chick patty for one minute. I'm warning ya, you little bastards if you do it for more than a minute you run the risk of the soy in the product to get hard and then you don't have a juicy chick patty but rather one as hard as Larry Flynt in a storm of... I digress. Use caution lest your meal be less delicious.



Step 5:



Pour, generously, the Paprika, the Red Pepper and the Chili powder on top of the barbecue sauce. It's a dance it's fluid, play gentler Salieri!



Step 6:



Mix about the barbecue sauce with the ingredients, tilting the knife back and forth, and mixing the powders into the sauce. Gently stir to the corners of the bread, thus evenly getting its surface with sauce.



Step 7:



When Chick Patty is done, place it on top of one of the pieces of bread and fold the other bread

on top, facing the barbecue sauce down.



Step 8:



Enjoy tasty sandwich.



Thank you for reading my tutorial on how to make a sandwich, I had fun. Didn't you? Let's do this again some time on Dylan's how to.

How to be a cowboy

"I Want to be a cowboy"

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fPmQVPYVhDo


In any case, you will need:

Balls

confusion

youthful angst

grown up understanding.

1. Live a childhood of disconnectedness while fitting in nowhere.

2. Maintain an aloofness.

3. Have a set of morals and goals that defines you and let nobody else ever tell you that you're wrong.

4. Be disconnected. Let the world you live in move around you while you watch in quiet speculation and feel like it's passing you by. When people look at you, be lost in your own thoughts that they can never understand. Relate to people completely as if you know what they're thinking but never allow yourself to be a part of anything average or completely normal.

Note: Sometimes a good cowboy is completely normal but this only depresses him and makes him more mysterious when he rejects it and wanders off into the extraordinary line of thoughts.

5. Speak only when it's necessary and when you do speak, make it something that people think about and remember.

6. Ride off into the sunset. Do not underestimate the power of disappearing and showing up like a knight in shining armor wherever you end up.

X-Men in Reality

Every now and then, everybody feels like a mutant. Some of us have more intelligence than others and some of us feel we have more common sense. Some of us do have abilities that make us almost super human but we deny that we do any more than the next guy. The way that this ties in with X-men is the battle waged between the two sides of the mutant "power" issue. In reality, this battle is waged in the mind and the "powers" are only real to those who utilize them.



The night time "never-sleeper" may be one example of a super-human. Where as many people need at least 8 hours or more of sleep, the never-sleeper runs on coffee and pure drive to need very little sleep, while they keep up, at the very least a guise, of being completely functional.



Another character in the super human world is the "power hungry". When one gets to the point that they are so big, even the government bails them out, they have the ability to push around the little guys. They are truly powerful because they have the funds to make themselves anything they want to be.



The split between these two super-human like entities is like the same split in X-men. Where-as the "never-sleeper" may have an ability that helps them to get a lot done, they are not necessarily also one of the "power hungry." In other words The X-men that went to professor Xavier's legitimate school for mutants, were simply practicing a gift that made them different and special. They were just as much ostracized for their gifts as many like the "never-sleeper" are. However, those who followed Magneto in his, "our difference makes us superior" model became like the power hungry. They were different and they specifically chose that their differences and the fact that they were ostracized, meant that everyone else did not deserve any understanding for not understanding them.



Those with true power, that have any sort of power, even if it's not a super power, accept that they are different and learn how to make a difference because of who they are... no matter who they are. Otherwise, your training and super-human fortitude that you gain from making yourself into something transcendent are nothing more than the road to becoming one of the power hungry...