So I happened to be doing what every man does on a daily basis (looking at porn) and I noticed that in the corner of the screen, there was a tab that said, "Is this your girlfriend? Let us know."
Tuesday, January 25, 2011
Internet Porn and Girlfriends
So I happened to be doing what every man does on a daily basis (looking at porn) and I noticed that in the corner of the screen, there was a tab that said, "Is this your girlfriend? Let us know."
Sunday, January 9, 2011
A Web-Based Solution to Getting Your Gifts.
HBO Pitch: Confessions Of an Economic Hitman
Thursday, January 6, 2011
Marijuana (Cannabis):
Tuesday, January 4, 2011
How to build a makeshift punching bag.
1. In many houses, people keep sleeping bags and pillows and blankets because let's face it, if you can't be cozy ever, you're probably in Al Qaeda and don't know it. However, not everybody has a pull up bar...
Step 1: take sleeping bag and fill with as many pillows and blankets as you can find and fit in half way.
2. Which leads me to...
Step 2: throw the back part of sleeping bag over the top of the pull up bar.
3. The last part can be done with many things like rope, twine, ace bandages (what I had on hand), and rubber bands (provided the rubber band is big enough to get it tied tight.)
Step 3: tie the part of the sleeping bag above the pillows and blankets off.
4. This has been very informative children. It's important to know because if you want to be a good person, sometimes you're going to have stress that we can take care of positively. This is coincidental because it leads me to...
Step 4: Beat the hell out of it like it owes you money.
5: A good work out is a blast but the cool down has to be proper. You have to relax, close off your mind, do something to distract you from the world and what you just beat senselessly into an inanimate object and...
Step 5:
In my opinion, relax and put on either Haiyao Miyazaki, Army of Darkness, or Harold and Kumar Escape from Guantanamo Bay.
Thank you for reading my tutorial on the makeshift punching bag. Now go out and relieve your stresses and enjoy the wonderful things in your life.
How to achieve ones appetite for zest
You will need:
Two pieces of white bread,
One bottle of barbecue sauce,
One Morning Star Farms chick patty,
Paprika,
Red pepper,
and Chili powder.
Step 1:
Upon users preference, either toast the bread or continue to step 2.
Step 2:
Apply a dollop of barbecue sauce to the corners of each piece of bread.
Step 3:
Put Morning Star Farms Chick patty in the microwave oven.
Step 4:
Heat chick patty for one minute. I'm warning ya, you little bastards if you do it for more than a minute you run the risk of the soy in the product to get hard and then you don't have a juicy chick patty but rather one as hard as Larry Flynt in a storm of... I digress. Use caution lest your meal be less delicious.
Step 5:
Pour, generously, the Paprika, the Red Pepper and the Chili powder on top of the barbecue sauce. It's a dance it's fluid, play gentler Salieri!
Step 6:
Mix about the barbecue sauce with the ingredients, tilting the knife back and forth, and mixing the powders into the sauce. Gently stir to the corners of the bread, thus evenly getting its surface with sauce.
Step 7:
When Chick Patty is done, place it on top of one of the pieces of bread and fold the other bread
on top, facing the barbecue sauce down.
Step 8:
Enjoy tasty sandwich.
Thank you for reading my tutorial on how to make a sandwich, I had fun. Didn't you? Let's do this again some time on Dylan's how to.
How to be a cowboy
"I Want to be a cowboy"
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fPmQVPYVhDo
In any case, you will need:
Balls
confusion
youthful angst
grown up understanding.
1. Live a childhood of disconnectedness while fitting in nowhere.
2. Maintain an aloofness.
3. Have a set of morals and goals that defines you and let nobody else ever tell you that you're wrong.
4. Be disconnected. Let the world you live in move around you while you watch in quiet speculation and feel like it's passing you by. When people look at you, be lost in your own thoughts that they can never understand. Relate to people completely as if you know what they're thinking but never allow yourself to be a part of anything average or completely normal.
Note: Sometimes a good cowboy is completely normal but this only depresses him and makes him more mysterious when he rejects it and wanders off into the extraordinary line of thoughts.
5. Speak only when it's necessary and when you do speak, make it something that people think about and remember.
6. Ride off into the sunset. Do not underestimate the power of disappearing and showing up like a knight in shining armor wherever you end up.
X-Men in Reality
Every now and then, everybody feels like a mutant. Some of us have more intelligence than others and some of us feel we have more common sense. Some of us do have abilities that make us almost super human but we deny that we do any more than the next guy. The way that this ties in with X-men is the battle waged between the two sides of the mutant "power" issue. In reality, this battle is waged in the mind and the "powers" are only real to those who utilize them.
The night time "never-sleeper" may be one example of a super-human. Where as many people need at least 8 hours or more of sleep, the never-sleeper runs on coffee and pure drive to need very little sleep, while they keep up, at the very least a guise, of being completely functional.
Another character in the super human world is the "power hungry". When one gets to the point that they are so big, even the government bails them out, they have the ability to push around the little guys. They are truly powerful because they have the funds to make themselves anything they want to be.
The split between these two super-human like entities is like the same split in X-men. Where-as the "never-sleeper" may have an ability that helps them to get a lot done, they are not necessarily also one of the "power hungry." In other words The X-men that went to professor Xavier's legitimate school for mutants, were simply practicing a gift that made them different and special. They were just as much ostracized for their gifts as many like the "never-sleeper" are. However, those who followed Magneto in his, "our difference makes us superior" model became like the power hungry. They were different and they specifically chose that their differences and the fact that they were ostracized, meant that everyone else did not deserve any understanding for not understanding them.
Those with true power, that have any sort of power, even if it's not a super power, accept that they are different and learn how to make a difference because of who they are... no matter who they are. Otherwise, your training and super-human fortitude that you gain from making yourself into something transcendent are nothing more than the road to becoming one of the power hungry...