Driver's ed for everyone

It has recently come to my attention that although driver's education is taught in schools nation wide, it has become an impractical waste of time for educators. Driving that takes place on the road is much different than simple facts that we are forced to memorize; so in lieu of the current crisis in driving, I have taken it upon myself to set some ground rules for the experienced driver.

1. PAY ATTENTION TO THE ROAD!!!

Forget about Joni and Chachi on the bicycles; there's nothing good on the radio that's worth you losing your life. I don't care if the cloud looks like Jesus, it's not important. Forget about the worry "am I getting too fat?" and simply drive.

2. MAINTAIN AT MOST A 5 MILE AN HOUR INCREASE TO THE POSTED SPEED LIMIT.

There's always some idiot who feels that the speed buffer is actually 20 miles over the speed limit and these people are dangerous but emotions always get involved in driving as well so to avoid the idiots and to not slow the flow of traffic, I recommend at least a 5 mile over policy.

3. MAKE YOUR TURN!!!

I know you've probably been this guy or been behind him but people who take their time to make a simple turn slow the flow of traffic to dangerous levels. When you've got a road where people are doing 60 or even 50 and then one person takes their time to make a turn, you never know when the idiot kid 3 cars back, will be changing his radio station and completely ignoring rule #1 and cause a 10 car pile up. Knowing that there IS such a thing as the flow of traffic, please be courteous and don't slow down to 25 mph and then take 20 minutes to make a turn, make your turn and be done with it. Quick reaction time is a key to not being dead.

4. USE YOUR TURN SIGNAL.

What's the deal America? Have you gone brain dead? Did you listen in Driver's ed. even a little? If you're keeping your hands at the 3 and 9 O'clock positions, it's about an inch away from your hand. It takes less effort and saves more lives than scratching your privates. If you're switching lanes or making a turn, just use your turn signal and save everyone the aggravation and possible death.

5. WHEN GETTING ONTO A HIGHWAY, SPEED UP!

Contrary to popular belief, the speed limit on the highways in New Jersey is 65 MPH. When you slow down, you might think you're being a better merger but when you slow down to 40 MPH, you risk an accident with the idiots doing 90 and/or 70 MPH. Of course it is granted that you need to gauge your speed to get onto the highway but at about 3/4 up the on-ramp, you should be doing at least 65 MPH to merge properly and avoid death.

6. WHEN ON A HIGHWAY, USE THE MIDDLE LANE.

There are 3 lanes on I-95 and I-295. The one closest to the on-ramps is for merging. Not only is it extremely discourteous to the people trying to merge but it is also dangerous for you to be in the right lane while people are trying to get on the highway. The left lane is for passing, the center lane is for driving, and the right lane is for merging. Save your life and the life of those people trying to merge and use the center lane instead of cutting them off and risking everybody's life.

7. IF YOU'RE GOING TO PASS, PASS.

If you're in the left lane trying to pass someone, sitting around in their blind spot is both dangerous and ignorant. Going the same speed as the car next to you is an offence that you can be stopped for so this rule is quite simple, if you're going to pass someone, pass and then continue to go as fast as you were going to allow the person you just passed some room. Cutting people off is stupid and unnecessary, so: IF YOU'RE GOING TO PASS, PASS!

8. LET PEOPLE PASS IF YOU'RE NOT LOOKING TO GO THAT FAST

I see it all the time where someone is doing 15 miles under the speed limit and then someone else tries to pass them and they speed up. This becomes especially dangerous on a 2 lane road like rt. 29 to Lambertville. If you are too afraid to go the speed limit or feel that 15 miles under is what people should be doing, good for you but this is America and everyone's free. If someone doesn't share your view, let them pass you and maybe even slow down to assist in their passing you, it's not the end of the world.

9. DON'T PASS DOING 100.

This rule doesn't only apply to people doing 100 but when someone looks in their mirror and sees nothing and then you come down the road doing double the speed limit, you're S.O.L. if they don't see you and you rear-end them or side swipe them. When passing somebody, make sure they at least know you're coming and you will save lives.

10. PAY ATTENTION!!!

I can't stress this enough and that's why I say it twice. People at stop lights seem to take the longest time to realize that the light is green. Don't be that guy! Pay attention and as soon as that light turns green, if you get going, you'll be ahead of all the other cars without having to speed up to 20 MPH over and risk everybody's life.

That's all I got for you. If nobody reads this, I'm sorry for you because these simple rules, can save lives and keep you out of the hands of some grubby policeman looking to write you a ticket!

Dave and Jay

So I'm reading this article on how Jay Leno and David Letterman have some kind of feud with each other but do you really think a feud is well-worth the time it takes to power-houses Letterman and Leno? These are two extremely well known comedians and to actually have a feud is childly and costly. I'll bet the two are great friends in reality and any "Feud" that was concocted is, in reality, just to make more money. To the rich, it's all about money. Don't be a stooge, don't get involved in their game because then you lose. Enjoy your favorite late night host and enjoy him/her for what they are. Chelsea Lately also comes on at night and she's got a fantastic body. If I were you, guys, I'd forget about the whole thing and watch her, unless you have an alternate agenda? ...

The Future of the automotive industry (I hope)

Something actually worth looking into; An unfortunate technology for oil barons but somebody's got the right idea. I wouldn't be surprised if he's assassinated by our own CIA.

Shai Agassi has the right idea when it comes to alternative energy. Where as the idea of plugging your car in at home and then driving around on electrical current is romantic, it's not practical until you add the missing element. That missing element is rechargeable stations and Agassi's ideas include this.

Personally, I think we need to take the driving away from the individual by making cars that drive themselves, but until then, we can at least create new and innovative ideas for keeping our personal transports as environmentally friendly as possible. Agassi's cars seem to do just that.

Agassi thinks of clean energy we could be using to get his product's power as well. In his video his coyly suggests wind energy in combination with both bio-fuel and solar energy as well.

The batteries are 95% recyclable as well so although we can do something about that 5% we slow down our waste to much more than we are doing currently.

Don't believe me? Take a look for yourselves:

http://www.betterplace.com/solution/

Reverse Psychology

Have you ever read though a book on diversity and thought, "What a load of crap?" I know I have because that's often the way it is.

Text books show a person who's awful and seems biggoted in a story without analyzing where that person comes from, or why they say and do the things that they do. More importantly they don't ask the question, "What is this person really thinking?"

In my text book for english class, I read a story by John Cheever called Reunion. In the story a man meets up with his father after not seeing him for many years and by the end of it he walks away from his father, calling him daddy (obviously a term of endearment) and saying, "...and that was the last time I ever saw my father."

For those of you who don't know the story read it! but it sufices to say that the father is an arrogant, stuck up, rich club owning, son of a bitch. He talks in italian at a new york Italian restaurante thinking that they should all know Italian, he talks in a brittish accent and claims he's in Brittain at an english pub and the question at the end of the chapter then becomes, "How would you characterize his father's attitude toward those of other nationalities and different social classes?"

I'm not protesting that this isn't a valid question because his father is a bit classist and racist but they miss the real character deep inside this man and ignore the fact that he hasn't seen his son in three years. They ignore questions like, "do you think his acting out could be a result of his not knowing how to act in front of his son?" or "do you think he feels inadequate because he couldn't take care of his sons mother and that's why she divorced him and so he acts tough and large in front of his son out of an inferiority complex?"

The point is, these things are easy to spot if you're a reader and/or a writer, but if you're a text book author, poorly analyzing too many stories at once, you tend to miss details and the beauty of stories is lost on your overanalyzing minds or underanalyzing minds, I can't tell.

These are the people we choose to write the books that we learn from. Good job America, insensitive in your sensitivity, as always.

Disaster

In 2012, The Large Hadron Collider will finally be ready to make its first test run and when it does, it will create a black hole.

The black hole will begin to grow exponentially, which will hurt the planet and wake up the earth's natural defense system called elementals.

These elementals will stop the black hole because it's hurting the earth, but they will also consciously know that human beings created this monstrosity, so they will begin their task at exterminating human beings.

Meanwhile, the polar ice caps will melt because this is where some of the elementals will be hiding and because global warming will speed up when the black hole and greenhouse gasses rapidly destroy the ozone layer in a matter of minutes.

So, all this water will create a change in the world's current system and cause great climate change all over the world, plus tsunamis, raised ocean levels and hurricanes.

The current shift will cause us to crash into the moon, which will fortunately save us from the meteor that was going to hit earth but it will crash into the moon instead, driving the moon deeper into the earth's crust.

The new fused planet of earth and moon will be thrown off its solar axis so badly, though, that we'll all go hurling into the sun which will end up destablizing and causing a chain of events that leads to a black hole anyway. The other planets will come barelling towards the black hole and become a bunch of meteors hurling towards the earth, despite us... well... half of us being saved from the meteor by the moon. We'll all be so destroyed though that it really won't matter because We're all fucked over a million times. Go home, tell your familly the truth about yourself or your feelings about them... in fact tell everybody the truth and as always, go fuck yourself, because nobody's reading this anyway.

How to beat the Traffic

I notice that a lot of people these days suffer from road rage. I am included amongst you and it's OK because I think I may have a solution.
US Route 1 is possibly one of the most rage filled roads I've been on. Often people go way over the speed limit, switch in and out of lanes, and cut people off mercilessly. These methods of driving may gain you 2-3 minutes, tops, off of your trip. The down side to using these methods is that you endanger a number of people, including, but not limited to: yourself, other drivers on the road, possibly the people in your car if you have passengers and some guy who happens to just be a whack job walking or biking on the side of the highway.
Have faith my friends, there is something you can do that will cut time off of your trip and save all these people that you endanger by driving recklessly. It's called PAYING ATTENTION.
This may need a bit of explaining being that it took me a while to realize it and I still don't do it on certain days.
Paying attention consists of watching the traffic lights so that the second they turn green, you go from break to gas. Today, while I was driving, I got out in front of the traffic the minute the light turned green without speeding, switching lanes or cutting anybody off. The light was red so I watched it like a hawk watching a mouse hole. The rest of the drivers on the road had a 5-10 second delay because they were doing things like chatting with their passengers, talking on the cell phone, changing the radio, thinking about how pretty rain clouds are, etc. The light turned green, I pushed on the gas, and everybody else was behind me.
Step 2: Switching lanes doesn't help you. Generally, I notice people love to switch lanes, speed up and get in front of the car in front of them. eventually you're going to have to slow down, unless you have found a way to make your car invisible and are immune to speeding tickets. Stay in your lane. The people around you are going to act like nimrods and eventually you'll pass them anyway.
Step 3: Maintain your speed. People on the road these days don't pay attention so taking a quick glance at your speedometer to make sure you're going within 5 miles of the speed limit or the speed limit seems like an impossibility but it can be done I assure you. If you're an old person and you have trouble following speed laws, or want to go slower, please use the right lane, nobody wants to be stuck behind your old behind. Speed up, get in the right lane or let people pass you. Generally, they aren't passing you out of malice, they're passing you because you're doing 10 miles under the limit when you should have been paying attention and following the speed limit.
Last but not least: if someone wants to pass you get out of the way, Karma's a bitch and they'll get theirs.
To all the people in the BMW's who don't care and can pay off their speeding tickets because they have the money to, thank you for making the rest of our driving lives a living hell, go home and cry because you have no real friends.
Thank you for listening and remember reform yourselves, drive well, it's not too late to do the right thing.

My Mom's on Japanese TV

My mother's single line drawings finally made it onto television and who better for aesthetic appreciation than the Japanese?