How to build a makeshift punching bag.

1. In many houses, people keep sleeping bags and pillows and blankets because let's face it, if you can't be cozy ever, you're probably in Al Qaeda and don't know it. However, not everybody has a pull up bar...

Step 1: take sleeping bag and fill with as many pillows and blankets as you can find and fit in half way.

2. Which leads me to...

Step 2: throw the back part of sleeping bag over the top of the pull up bar.

3. The last part can be done with many things like rope, twine, ace bandages (what I had on hand), and rubber bands (provided the rubber band is big enough to get it tied tight.)

Step 3: tie the part of the sleeping bag above the pillows and blankets off.

4. This has been very informative children. It's important to know because if you want to be a good person, sometimes you're going to have stress that we can take care of positively. This is coincidental because it leads me to...

Step 4: Beat the hell out of it like it owes you money.

5: A good work out is a blast but the cool down has to be proper. You have to relax, close off your mind, do something to distract you from the world and what you just beat senselessly into an inanimate object and...

Step 5:

In my opinion, relax and put on either Haiyao Miyazaki, Army of Darkness, or Harold and Kumar Escape from Guantanamo Bay.

Thank you for reading my tutorial on the makeshift punching bag. Now go out and relieve your stresses and enjoy the wonderful things in your life.

How to achieve ones appetite for zest

You will need:

Two pieces of white bread,

One bottle of barbecue sauce,

One Morning Star Farms chick patty,

Paprika,

Red pepper,

and Chili powder.

Step 1:

Upon users preference, either toast the bread or continue to step 2.

Step 2:

Apply a dollop of barbecue sauce to the corners of each piece of bread.

Step 3:

Put Morning Star Farms Chick patty in the microwave oven.

Step 4:

Heat chick patty for one minute. I'm warning ya, you little bastards if you do it for more than a minute you run the risk of the soy in the product to get hard and then you don't have a juicy chick patty but rather one as hard as Larry Flynt in a storm of... I digress. Use caution lest your meal be less delicious.

Step 5:

Pour, generously, the Paprika, the Red Pepper and the Chili powder on top of the barbecue sauce. It's a dance it's fluid, play gentler Salieri!

Step 6:

Mix about the barbecue sauce with the ingredients, tilting the knife back and forth, and mixing the powders into the sauce. Gently stir to the corners of the bread, thus evenly getting its surface with sauce.

Step 7:

When Chick Patty is done, place it on top of one of the pieces of bread and fold the other bread

on top, facing the barbecue sauce down.

Step 8:

Enjoy tasty sandwich.

Thank you for reading my tutorial on how to make a sandwich, I had fun. Didn't you? Let's do this again some time on Dylan's how to.

How to be a cowboy

"I Want to be a cowboy"

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fPmQVPYVhDo

In any case, you will need:

Balls

confusion

youthful angst

grown up understanding.

1. Live a childhood of disconnectedness while fitting in nowhere.

2. Maintain an aloofness.

3. Have a set of morals and goals that defines you and let nobody else ever tell you that you're wrong.

4. Be disconnected. Let the world you live in move around you while you watch in quiet speculation and feel like it's passing you by. When people look at you, be lost in your own thoughts that they can never understand. Relate to people completely as if you know what they're thinking but never allow yourself to be a part of anything average or completely normal.

Note: Sometimes a good cowboy is completely normal but this only depresses him and makes him more mysterious when he rejects it and wanders off into the extraordinary line of thoughts.

5. Speak only when it's necessary and when you do speak, make it something that people think about and remember.

6. Ride off into the sunset. Do not underestimate the power of disappearing and showing up like a knight in shining armor wherever you end up.

X-Men in Reality

Every now and then, everybody feels like a mutant. Some of us have more intelligence than others and some of us feel we have more common sense. Some of us do have abilities that make us almost super human but we deny that we do any more than the next guy. The way that this ties in with X-men is the battle waged between the two sides of the mutant "power" issue. In reality, this battle is waged in the mind and the "powers" are only real to those who utilize them.

The night time "never-sleeper" may be one example of a super-human. Where as many people need at least 8 hours or more of sleep, the never-sleeper runs on coffee and pure drive to need very little sleep, while they keep up, at the very least a guise, of being completely functional.

Another character in the super human world is the "power hungry". When one gets to the point that they are so big, even the government bails them out, they have the ability to push around the little guys. They are truly powerful because they have the funds to make themselves anything they want to be.

The split between these two super-human like entities is like the same split in X-men. Where-as the "never-sleeper" may have an ability that helps them to get a lot done, they are not necessarily also one of the "power hungry." In other words The X-men that went to professor Xavier's legitimate school for mutants, were simply practicing a gift that made them different and special. They were just as much ostracized for their gifts as many like the "never-sleeper" are. However, those who followed Magneto in his, "our difference makes us superior" model became like the power hungry. They were different and they specifically chose that their differences and the fact that they were ostracized, meant that everyone else did not deserve any understanding for not understanding them.

Those with true power, that have any sort of power, even if it's not a super power, accept that they are different and learn how to make a difference because of who they are... no matter who they are. Otherwise, your training and super-human fortitude that you gain from making yourself into something transcendent are nothing more than the road to becoming one of the power hungry...

Goodbye High and Mighty Color

So you're searching bands and you finally find one that seems to be consistently good and then this happens:

2010: Break up
On March 13, 2010, the band was scheduled to give a live concert with Halca, titled Night Light Parade Vol. 1.1: One of the new beginning at Shibuya Club Quattro in Tokyo.

It was announced on May 19 that on August 11 High and Mighty Color will release a new single, "Re:ache", which will be the band's final single. Speaking of the reason for the break up, band members cited "musical differences" and "future opportunities". The last single "Re:ache" will contain three new songs, with four songs in total, the fourth being a live rendition of "Red". The single will be a CD+DVD bundle that will come with the PVs for "Re:ache" and "Good Bye", as well as live recordings of their American concert from Sakura-Con 2010

Innocence and Ignorance

God created us as dumb animals, right? Until we ate from the tree of knowledge, we had sex, I honestly couldn't tell you if we even understood getting high, getting drunk we would have probably understood because eventually one, of the grapes in the garden of eden must have gone sour. In any case, I've digressed. The point is we were innocent and pure because we didn't know any better.

8 Then the man and his wife heard the sound of the LORD God as he was walking in the garden in the cool of the day, and they hid from the LORD God among the trees of the garden. 9 But the LORD God called to the man, "Where are you?"

10 He answered, "I heard you in the garden, and I was afraid because I was naked; so I hid."

11 And he said, "Who told you that you were naked? Have you eaten from the tree that I commanded you not to eat from?"

12 The man said, "The woman you put here with me—she gave me some fruit from the tree, and I ate it."

13 Then the LORD God said to the woman, "What is this you have done?"
The woman said, "The serpent deceived me, and I ate."

These are the fruits of our knowledge. Organised religion tells us that things were better when we were stupid because we were PUNISHED for our sin of knowledge.

Did we ever get punished for anything else that happened in the garden that the "good book" mentions? It is a crime to be knowledgeable according to the very conception of our beings.

Jesus taught that he was the Messiah come to forgive us for original sin but it still happens today. We're not stupid again and we actually have entire institutions devoted to eating forbidden fruit.

Our goal if we are to truly follow God's desire for us is to be completely care free and retarded. Things would finally be the way he created us to be.

We may even be let back into his garden but then there may need to be an apocalypse for that to happen. The day they call the rekonin' in the South.

I'm sorry, I forgot where I was going with this... Apparently, I'm half way there.

1 Now the serpent was more crafty than any of the wild animals the LORD God had made. He said to the woman, "Did God really say, 'You must not eat from any tree in the garden'?"
2 The woman said to the serpent, "We may eat fruit from the trees in the garden, 3 but God did say, 'You must not eat fruit from the tree that is in the middle of the garden, and you must not touch it, or you will die.' "

4 "You will not surely die," the serpent said to the woman. 5 "For God knows that when you eat of it your eyes will be opened, and you will be like God, knowing good and evil."

6 When the woman saw that the fruit of the tree was good for food and pleasing to the eye, and also desirable for gaining wisdom, she took some and ate it. She also gave some to her husband, who was with her, and he ate it. 7 Then the eyes of both of them were opened, and they realized they were naked; so they sewed fig leaves together and made coverings for themselves.

Honestly, who believes a talking snake?

19 Now the LORD God had formed out of the ground all the beasts of the field and all the birds of the air. He brought them to the man to see what he would name them; and whatever the man called each living creature, that was its name. 20 So the man gave names to all the livestock, the birds of the air and all the beasts of the field.
But for Adam [h] no suitable helper was found.

Cow, Duck, goose, poodle, dog, crap, shit, piss. A little crude maybe but all names that man's created for various objects and thoughts.

23 The man said,
"This is now bone of my bones
and flesh of my flesh;
she shall be called 'woman, [k] '
for she was taken out of man."

Ladies, see how smart your guy is, because you're his spare rib, you belong to him. God knows Adam wasn't the only man on earth... wait a minute..........

24 For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and they will become one flesh.

25 The man and his wife were both naked, and they felt no shame.

Is god projecting here? The people who created you, you're supposed to leave as soon as you find a suitable broad... wait a minute, Adam and Eve don't have any parents and Eve is technically part of Adam so... like... Is Adam going to go **** himself now?

Seriously, God is telling children to leave their parents so he's telling Adam to leave him and forget about him to be with Eve. Does he care about us if he's kicking us out as idiots into a playpen where we have no idea what anything means?

We're like infants here and knowledge is our gain into adulthood but do we really want it? To begin with, it... was... PUNISHMENT. It still is punishment. We still have knowledge and we still understand burdens and decisions at some point in our life and some of us will definitely be crippled and lose and even die.

So if there is a god, we're all doomed every day we make a thought. Until you are living in the garden of eden you are still on punishment because you are not as god made you.

A brief thought

I always thought there was a difference between the guy who looks at porn and says, "you know, I'd rather see them in minimal clothing because I'm just lonely," and the guy who thinks, "I want to see this bitch get it bad."

The guy who wants the naive joy of having a sexy girl because he's lonely has no idea what the depraved mind is capable of. His joy extends only as far as his heart does and at that, it longs for company, not for sex (the drug).

The greatest depravity a mind can have, is the apathy that follows, once it gets what it wants.

Make no mistaking it. For it is the devil and this apathy will consume you whole before you get the chance to fight it.

Call it the devil, call it evil, call it forces of nature but it will have what it wants and then it will leave you like a carcass left behind by the lions of war. There is no use for the body once the spirit has had its thrill. Such is the life of an addict. For those who didn't understand before, it is the apathy of the mind and the emptiness of the soul.